My time. My world.

So...it's been about a year since I last updated this blog. Frankly, A LOT has gone down. I've really been humbled and had to swallow my pride. I've had to work my ass off and pinch my pennies like never before. I've barely seen my family, let alone my friends. I still have no idea what my long term plans are. I have a vague idea of my short term goals. So I feel like I'm in the same place I was four years ago.

That being said, I have discovered a few more things about myself that I didn't know four years ago.

• I have the unconditional love of a five pound chihuahua. Mr. Big has enriched my life, even if he pees on the bathmat occasionally. No matter how tired, grouchy, or hungry I am, I always feel better after a long walk with Big. I can't imagine life without the little bugger.
• Family is all you've got in the end. My dad, who never flies or takes vacations, brought my mom to visit me for Mother's Day. He hates Boston, but he came to see me. That says a lot. He's been so supportive, even when he grumbles. Jody is an amazing guy, so I'm proud to call him my brother and best friend. And Mom...well, what more can I say about Big Ma T?
• You never know your limits until your back is to the wall. fifteen hour work days? You can do it when you have to make rent. Twenty-one days without a day off? You keep going. You do what you have to do sometimes.
• Little things in life make you happy. A new episode of Doctor Who? Ok! David Tennant and Catherine Tate in Much Ado About Nothing? Hello, best three hours of my weekend! A new Alex and Ani bracelet? Score!
• I'm addicted to coffee. I thought I was before this year. I was wrong. So, so wrong.
• I miss writing. I miss outlining and researching essays. I miss critical analysis. I really miss creative non-fiction. I have a voice that's all my own; if people only knew half the things that I think, but don't say aloud.

The last bullet explains the renewal of this blog. Each time I've tried to revamp it, I start writing for the audience I want. I find myself censoring my posts. Over editing. Then it became too time-consuming and posts became fewer and fewer...until it's a year between posts. So screw that crap! I'm writing for me now. So there will be cussing because I have a dirty mouth. There will be bitching because I need to vent too. And there will be name dropping because I know a lot of characters.

You have been warned. Welcome to my world (again).

Emotional Rollercoaster

So I had to stay home from work today to take care of my dad; he busted his knee at work and Mom had meetings she couldn't reschedule. Since I’m not getting paid and/or can do my research at home, I was elected as “Caregiver du Jour”.  

I’m not very motivated when working from home. I just couldn't focus on wills and joint tenancies and such...so I put my time to better use. I watched Doctor Who.

I finally saw “The Stolen Earth” and “Journey’s End”, the last episodes of Season 4! They’re also known as the beginning of the end of David Tennant’s era. I knew I needed complete concentration, minimum distractions, and privacy. This is serious television watching, people! I knew I was embarking on an emotional rollercoaster, but knowledge of the fact does not deter from the experience.

My mascara was not prepared for this...

You know when you were in middle school and you would get butterflies in your stomach when you saw your crush? You could literally feel this ball of happiness in your gut as it floated up to your throat. You’d get choked up and couldn’t breathe. Your heart started racing. You wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. The emotions you’re experiencing are so sad…yet, so exquisite. You just have to smile at the beautiful tragedy of it all.

Oh the emotions!!! You would have thought my dog had simultaneously died while Prince Harry was proposing marriage. If anyone had observed me during those glorious two and a half hours, they would have thought I'd lost my mind. Because of a television show.

Now, I’m not going to reveal any spoilers for those of you who haven’t seen “Journey’s End”. Even though I had a vague notion of what would happen (Wikipedia research), I can now appreciate my friends’ loyalty to David Tennant and Russell T. Davies. My first Doctor was Matt Smith and Stephen Moffat was the head writer when I started watching Who. So I’ve had a warped impression of who the Doctor is and who he should be. 

But I was wrong. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry...

• Amy is the coolest companion. Nope! Donna will kick Amy’s ass from Leadworth to Chiswick any day of the week. Amy needs sexy adventure and flirting. Donna just wanted to travel the stars and learn what's out there and experience life and become a better person. She didn't think she was anyone special, but she was SO wrong. And isn't that the best kind of companion? 
• Eleven and River Song was the ultimate love story. False. Ten and Rose will forever and always be the most romantic story of all space and time. I can’t even count how many times Rose and/or the Doctor have their hearts broken. Eventually, Rose gets a version of a happy ending. The Doctor just...walks away. Heartbroken. And alone. Again.
• Matt Smith is a sexy Doctor. Yeah right, no one thinks that. Matt is precious. He's funny. He's an awkward giraffe you just want to hug. Don't get me wrong, I'd jump him in a heartbeat. But I never thought "hmmm...he's the human version of something dipped in chocolate." Now David Tennant...my ovaries explode every time I see those dark soulful eyes...... 

...wait, I got distracted...what was I saying?!
Oh yeah...so now I understand why people love Ten and Donna and Rose so much. It's a full circle, and it starts with the first episode. You can't bypass a single moment because it all builds up to those two episodes. Excellent writing, Davies. Well done. 

Now...all I have is watch David Tennant's last specials and I'll be all caught up! I haven't decided if I'm excited or depressed...stay tuned.

Mix-tape Monday: As You Wish

"And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva..."
(If you don't recognize that quote, I'm putting you on a 10 minute friendship freeze.)

The past two weeks have been filled with love. I witnessed the marriage of two "for-lifers". I've spent time with awesome friends whom I love, and they love me in return. I've dissected the pros and cons of dating in today's world. And a dear friend lost the love of her life.

So yeah...LOVE has been the topic of conversation lately.

Love comes in all sorts of forms and produces all sorts of feelings in people. I'm naturally pretty gun-shy about expressing and experiencing love. I've threatened a couple of guys with a "punch in the wiener" if they used the L-word. Even with my best friends, people I would consider as my sisters, I don't throw the word around lightly. I think the most beautiful love stories are the ones when you love someone, you have to let them go; that's could explain why I love Atonement, The Way We Were, Jane Eyre and Mansfield Park.
(Do you see a trend here?)

Maybe it's the rainy weather or hormones or my uber-sweet white mocha latte..but I'm in a morose and unrequited love kind of mood. So here's one of my many heart-broken-but-happy-about-it playlists:

• "In My Life" by The Beatles ~ Thank you, John Lennon, for penning the words to emotions I didn't know I needed to express.
• "Flightless Bird, American Mouth" by Iron & Wine ~ If you can get over the Twilight association, it's a lovely song.
• "Reflecting Light" by Sam Phillips ~ Sam Phillips did all the music for Gilmore Girls and, now, Bunheads. Her voice is one-of-a-kind; just listening to it takes me to a mellow, wonderful place. This is the song where Lorelei discovers "Luke can waltz". 
• "Tim McGraw" by Taylor Swift ~ Love her or hate her, Taylor knows about having a broken heart. She lost her summer love, but she can still remember him and wish him the best.
• "Mona Lisa" by Grant-Lee Phillips ~ Another Gilmore Girls shout-out, Grant-Lee played Star Hollow's troubadour. "Mona Lisa" is playing during the Firelight Festival in season 4.
• "Don't Know Why" by Norah Jones ~ Norah Jones' voice makes me want to cuddle in a sweater with a big cup of coffee and Jane Austen novel while I watch the snow fall. What does this have to do with love? Well...
• "Baby Blue Eyes" by A Rocket to the Moon ~ Yes, I've already mentioned this song. But you know what? It's that amazing! 
• "Try a Little Tenderness" by Ottis Redding ~ When I think of pure and unadulterated love, I think of Duckie's dance in Pretty In Pink. This is love, people.
• "When I'm Sixty Four" by The Beatles ~ If you didn't have your own Duckie at the age of sixteen, you can hope to find one by the time you're sixty-four. 

Ginger, please...

Did you know that I am surrounded by some of the most awesome people? On Earth? Ever?!

If my life were a television series (or a Dickens novel), you can imagine the supporting cast of characters that I interact with. How else to you think I come up with these stories? 'Cause let me tell you a secret...I can't make this stuff up. My imagination is good, but not that good.

For example..take this gem of a quote from my friend, Janet.

"You think you could pull off this outfit BETTER than me?!
Ginger, please!
You couldn't pull off a band-aid, let alone this outfit."

Janet was getting slack from a co-worker who...shall we say...does not share her slim physique and bold sense of style. But the co-worker thinks she does. It's an unspoken, running joke at Janet's office that her co-worker's wardrobe has much to be desired; her clothes are too young, obviously cheap knock-offs, and do nothing for her assets. Anytime Janet wears something new, the clueless co-worker speculates how the new jacket/shoes/etc will work in her wardrobe...

Janet, tired of the denial, finally snapped.

Janet also calls people "ginger" regardless of hair color. I'm not sure if this is intended as an insult to redheads or a Southern censorship-thing (like saying "fiddlesticks" or "shut the front door"). Poor gingers...they always get misunderstood...

Up and to your right, you'll notice the visual aid part of this presentation/blog-post. Someone brilliant (can't find the original citation on Pinterest) imagined if the Doctor and his companions had to trade their signature outfits. Obviously, Eleven got the short end of the skirt.
Do  you like what I did there? Wordplay. Nailed it.


[If you don't understand the Doctor Who reference, I feel sorry for you. Go to YouTube, search "Doctor Who", and watch everything that pops up. Or come back next week because I'm planning on documenting my obsession with a certain BBC show. It'll be a big blog of wibbly wobbly...time-y wimey...stuff.]

An Ode to Dresses (while wearing pants)

I wore a dress or skirt to work for seven days in a row. This is a new Cora-record!

No one would guess I was wearing superhero underwear...

I had a love-hate relationship with dresses throughout my life. For example, I wore a dress every single day in kindergarten. Then I flatly refused to wear anything but pants for the next 10 years (The only exception was wearing a dress to church. Because God shall smite women for wearing slacks. It’s the 11^th Baptist Commandment).  By high school, I resigned myself to the fact that dresses were required for graduations, weddings, and the occasional funeral. Sorority events in college also demanded that I buy more than one little black dress.

Then I moved to Boston. My daily uniform (jeans, tank top, cardigan, Converse low-tops) just didn’t fit in. Girls layered their summer dresses and shorts with leggings in the fall. Walking through rain and snow is miserable when you’re wearing jeans because it takes forever to dry. And frankly, guys notice you more.

In an office setting, I find dresses to be comfortable, professional, and feminine. When networking, I was certainly noticed and approached more when wearing a black dress and beaded cardigan.  The Russian kept insisting that “pencil skirts are the epitome of feminine power in a male-dominated profession”.  (Umm…yeah, about that...I disagree. When I see a girl wearing a pencil skirt suit, my first thought is “Damn, I wish I was that skinny” followed by “I bet she’s a witch with a broom stuck up her bum.”) I do think that dressing a bit more feminine and delicate made me more approachable. The Southern accent certainly helped.

Twirling isn't half as fun in pants either.

In all honesty, my sudden pro-dress stance has more to do with my pro-sleep philosophy. Anything that gains another 15 minutes of sleep always gets my vote! A dress is an entire outfit...in ONE article of clothing! I don’t have to worry about matching shirts and pants! The only thing I have to coordinate is dress to shoes, which is simple because black or silver heels go with basically everything I own. And a wrinkled dress looks more put together than a pair of wrinkled pants and an unironed button-up shirt. Go figure.

Considering the forthcoming heat wave (102*F on Friday), wearing a dress certainly makes life a little more bearable and less sweaty.

The downside of wearing dresses to work…can’t prop my feet up on the desk. Something about being “unladylike”…whatever that means. 

Mix-tape Monday: Why Aren't You My Boyfriend?

Whew! I haven't had a proper Cora-has-a-day-all-to-herself since I came back to Georgia. Every weekday is work and each weekend is packed with social events. We finally have a hearing tomorrow about my first case this summer; I have to turn in a petition for a motion for summary judgement first thing in the morning for Rich to review. I also had a jam packed weekend (which deserves its own blog later in the week) which left no time for contracts and short sales. 

In short, I deserve an afternoon of Doctor Who and wine and trolling Pinterest. 

My Timelord boyfriend just broke up with me via hologram...

Regardless, I am adamant to be more consistent with this blog. I really want to make Mix-tape Mondays a regular thing. Here's my playlist when I'm emotionally needy, but not quite desperate enough for an actual relationship...aka the "Why Aren't You My Boyfriend?" playlist. I've included the lyrics which I rewind over and over. Did I mention that I have a thing for sensitive singer-songwriters?

• "Church Clothes" by Matt Nathanson ~ What I wear like church clothes / you wear just like jewelry / all the simple things you revel in / they just suffocate me
• "Lost Myself in Search of You" by Matt Nathanson ~ And as you slipped away / I found myself lost in search of you
• "Counting to 100" by Matt Wertz ~ So you go I hide / and I'll come seek / maybe someday in the middle / we just might meet
• "Pretty Girl" by David Ryan Harris ~ You are the book that I want to read / in braille, cover to cover
• "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane ~  Oh simple thing where have you gone? / I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
• "Work" by Jimmy Eat World ~ Work and play are never okay / to mix the way we do
• "Tiny Dancer" by Ben Folds ~  Looking on she sings the songs / the words she knows, the tune she hums 
• "Baby Blue Eyes" by A Rocket to the Moon ~  And I may feel like a fool / but I'm the only one dancing with you 
• "Come On Get Higher" by Matt Nathanson ~ So come one get higher, loosen my lips / faith and desire and the sway of your hips
• "Save Room" by John Legand ~  Just a little bit of love / is worth a moment of your time
• "Her Morning Elegance" by Oren Lavie ~  And she fights for her life / as she puts on her coat . and sh fights for her life on the train 
• "Do You Realize" by The Flaming Lips ~ Do you realize / that happiness makes you cry?

Mix-tape Mondays: Songs About Chicks

One of my greatest talents, aside from making pancakes and organizing movie themed nights, is making mixed tapes. I have it on the highest authority that I make the best mixed tapes in the world. Now, I respectfully disagree with these esteemed critics; they are my friends and have been known to lie to me instead of crushing hopes and dreams on the jagged rocks of reality. Like when Mom told me I was a wonderful ballerina...and I believed her. Yeah...not bitter. At all.

I enjoy making mix-tapes for my friends and take it very seriously. I normally have a theme, be it lyrically or emotionally. I pay attention to BPM (beats per minutes) and make sure there's a transition between songs. I try to introduce the recipient to new artists and styles. 

You haven't heard of them? Let me make you a mix-tape
 of their acoustic shows and obscure B-side hits.

So here's my Songs About Chicks playlist. The main criteria is for A) the song to be about a female and B) her name must be in the title. 

• "Hey Julie" by Fountains of Waynes ~ A white-collar, office cubical love song for Julie.
• "Dakota" by A Rocket to the Moon ~ Dakota has this boy whipped and wrapped around her finger, and he has no clue why.
• "Eleanor Rigby" by Aretha Franklin ~ Aretha gave this prim and proper Englishwoman a much needed dose of soul.
• "Beth" by Mark Sallings ~ Beth's rock'n'roll boyfriend isn't even considerate enough to call when he's running late. [Yes, this is a Glee cover of a KISS song. Bite me. I still have good taste.]
• "Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson ~ Billie Jean is just looking for her baby's daddy.
• "Me and Mrs. Jones" by Michael Buble ~ Mrs. Jones has thing going on...behind her husband's back.
• "Annie" by James Blunt ~ I imagine Annie moonlights as a waitress in L.A. while waiting for her big break.
• "If You See Kay" by The Script ~ Kay's boyfriend writes a song for his missing girlfriend instead of putting her picture on milk cartons.
• "Brandy" by Looking Glass ~ A bartender pines for a sailor who loves the sea more.  
• "Maggie May" by Rod Stewart ~ The upbeat tempo hides the fact that Maggie May is cougar who (possibly) kidnapped her lover. Very Humbert Humbert, if you ask me.
• "Ruby Tuesday" by The Rolling Stones ~ I aspire to be as enigmatic as Ruby.
• "Walk Away Renee" by Vonda Shepard ~ Renee is the ultimate subject of unrequited love. Check out the true story behind the lyrics here. 
• "El Tango de Roxanne" by Ewan McGregor and Jose Feliciano ~ A song about a man in love with a hooker within another song about a man in love with a hooker within a movie about a man in love with a hooker. [Note: If you don't cry during Moulin Rouge when Christian is belting his heart out during this song, then you have no soul.]